I feel numb. It seems like life is effortlessly meaningless at the time I was in the shower. I just stared blankly at the droplets of water looking for answers to questions I don’t even have. My mind started to wonder about the past, present, and future. Something is so obviously inert about the way they are all entwined together. It is a mystery enveloped in the shadows of overlapping occurrences.

The very essence of life’s true secrets is grappling to coexist with me. I can’t help but be in awe. After a while, I started asking myself all these rhetorical questions which in the end have made me fall out of reality.

Have my words greatly affected people? How have they changed the course of people’s lives? They’ve probably affected people in many ways that I couldn’t even imagine. No matter how massive the impact had been on others, it still remains the same for me. I received nothing but static for as long as I could remember. The stillness sickens me.

The dark bottomless pit of my own contradictions seems to be getting narrower and narrower. I know I’m bound to get engulfed in it and then become absorbed in a cycle of psychotic breakdown. Somehow, there is always a constant pressure to know everything and anything that I have yet to know. The pressure is so intense that I couldn’t even bare to listen to my own voice anymore. Is this the end?

Perhaps with a little faith I would have had the courage to walk on water. But even if I had gathered enough courage to confront my fate, the weight of my troubles would’ve drowned me before I could even think of how to defy the impossible. I have no other way to endure other than to disregard all the sentiments I have left – the sentiments that have been in my blood ever since the beginning of my existence.

Thus, I am empty and forgotten – left alone to perish in my own thoughts. No one could ever save me or bring me back from the infinite circumstance of perpetual oblivion.